Time won't let me go

Where did I messed up the things?Did I misstep so that my life's like this now?Why is loneliness and tears only stay with me every night?Why can't I beat this sadness?Does anyone care to think why it's like this?I have things money can buy,at least lots of them which I always wanted to have,but does that make me happy?Does that make me complete?Is this the life I wanted?There were days in my life when people used to feel sad if I wasn't around.I used be the source of laughter for my friends.There were days when we used to take our bicycles and roam around the city,not knowing where exactly to go,not knowing what to do.But they are lost somewhere in time.But I can't escape my fate,I can't go as time won't let me go.I wish I could sit somewhere with my legs crossed,imprison myself in a dark room,seizing my thoughts,stopping myself from thinking what went wrong,who did it,but life won't set me free.I think sleep is my only savior.I feel disgusted about my life,but I have to sleep to see a new tomorrow through this hazel eyes,hoping the sun will shine tomorrow and brighten my life.

It's Hard

It’s hard to satisfy

When you have so many reasons to cry

It’s hard to be afraid

When your emotions are raped

It’s hard to feel the pain

When you lose all what you gain

It’s hard to see the light

When you have lost all your pride

It’s hard to put a smile

When your happiness is so fragile

It’s hard to sleep at night

When there’s nothing in your life that’s right

It’s hard to be alive

When you hardly have a life

Someday

Why is life like this? Yesterday when I came out of my office, instead of taking a cycle rickshaw to my room where I stay alone, I started walking. It was 7 PM of a cold Delhi evening, so was filling the cool breeze on my face, hitting me hard, trying to change my expression. But it failed and I remained sad. Sad for the very existence of myself. Sad for the kind of life I was living. Sad for so many things. I tried to throw away these feelings in air and lit up a cigarette. While the smoke filled the air around me, so many thoughts, some of them weird enough to make me laugh, started filling me from inside. I was still walking, along the side of the road with so many cars, walking by a beautiful park where so many people relaxing in the park. I was afraid to keep my head straight, afraid to see people happy and joyful. I was mostly walking with my head down. Am I the only one left alone in this city? Why’s life like this? People I want close to me are so far away from me.I always wanted to be surrounded by my friends, but they are not there for me. There are so many friends whom I have not even see for may be 8-9 years. There are friends with whom I always want to be with. Is this the life I always wanted? Is this the life for which I have sacrificed so many things? Is this the kind of life for which I am so far away from my family? Why is it that what you want you hardly get and what you get is not exactly what you want. I always try to find things to do to keep myself away from these thoughts but I could never succeed. I love to shop so I shop a lot. I’m a gadget freak and I almost spend my entire salary and keep buying things. All this just to keep myself happy, but still I'm not. This is my life and this is my story. Now things are always like this.Will they ever change?Sudddenly one thing said by one of my colleague started resounding in my head “Kabhi to aisa ho ki yeh darwaza khule aur andar kuch alag ho”...Kash kabhi aisa ho.So I kept walking with this hope...Someday…

In the Valley of Dreams !

In the Valley of Dreams !

A Little Sweet,A Little Sour

The world from a child's eyes
( Wish we could see the world in the same way )

Mera Jahan

A Little Sweet,
A Little Sour
A Little Close Not Too Far
All I Need, All I Need
All I Need Is To Be Free

Chhoo Loon Main
Itna Kareeb
Chal Padun
To Kitne Door
A Little Sweet, A Little Sour…

Chhoo Loon Main Itna Kareeb
Chal Padun To Kitne Door
Sapna Ka Buna Sweater Sa Warm
Safed Baadalon Ke Paar
Mera Jahan

Let Me In Without A Shout
Let Me In I Have A Doubt
Let Me In Without A Shout
Let Me In I Have A Doubt
There Are More,Many More
Many Many Many More Like Me

Akela Nahin Main
Khuli Aankhon Se Neend Mein Chalta
Girta Zyada Kam Sambhalta
Akela Nahin Main
Khuli Aankhon Se Neend Mein Chalta
Girta Zyada Kam Sambhalta

Phir Bhi Na Koi Shaq Na Subha
Nikalega Phir Se Sooraj Jo Dooba
Hairat Ho Sabko Aisa
Ajooba Hai Mera Jahan

Open Eyed How I Run
How I Run To The Other Side
Open Eyed How I Run
How I Run To The Other Side
Then I Glide Like A Bird
I Just Want To Be

Udne Ko Sau Pankh Diye Hai
Chadne Ko Khula Aasmaan
Udne Ko Sau Pankh Diye Hai
Chadne Ko Khula Aasmaan
Mudne Ko Hai Karwat Karwat
Aur Badhne Ko Mera Jahan

Bachpan Ke Din Chaar
Na Aayenge Baar Baar
Jee Le Jee Le Mere Yaar
Jeib Khaali To Udhaar
Jee Zindagi

(From the movie ' Tare Zameen Par' )

Sometimes I Feel Like This

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

( Creep by Radiohead )

In This Hell I Created,I Live Selling My Soul

I have not slept for many days,seems like many years.
I want to sleep,resting my head on the shoulders of life,
trying to hear it's silence,
trying to release my soul from all the bindings.
But I lost my silence in the noise of this world.
Everyone is running.Even I'm.But where are we reaching?
I'm not happy,then what's the point.
We have  everything but still not satisfied,not happy.
Money can't buy you peace,
can't buy you love,
can't buy you happiness.
People have become so cold.
Internet lets you know of anyone anywhere in the world,
you can see what your friends staying far far away is doing,
can talk with them,
but you don't know who's your neighbor.Isn't it strange?
But this is the new world we are building,
the wireless world,
where your mobile is connecting
from two extreme ends of the world,
but the wires connecting the heart's of the people is missing
and I'm building it,
contributing to building a society of emotionless,
materialistic people.
I feel ashamed to do that,
but I don't seem to find a way to stop myself.
Is the world really getting smaller?Or is it expanding,
expanding so fast that it fears it'll burst.

Death...The Forgotten Place

She made me feel sacred,She has all my faith
Took away all my pain,She's the angel of death

I lost my will to try,I'm loving this death ride
I'm still searching myself,In the shadows of my life

Heaven may be waiting for me,But I'm tied to this hell
The time has come to escape,I hear the ringing bell

I'm a deadnight warrior,Fighting with my life
But this damn life wins everytime,Making my death loose its pride

Stading below the moonlight's shadow,I wish to die
But I can't escape the truth,I can just try & cry


I'm screaming for help,Can't you hear
I see a red light,The end is coming near

I'm Breaking Into Pieces

Is this real or a dream,I seem to be lost
Lost in this strange world,Lost in my own thoughts.

I'm running,running with this running crowd
Running to nowhere,but still I'm proud

Proud to be what I am,Happy to be with you
Wish you were here,Wish the dream was true

But am I really proud,Or showing my false pride
I have lost my way,U still want me to guide

Never got what I wanted,Never felt this way
Should I try to escape or should I just pray

I'm losing my faith,But in God or in myself?
Someone try to save me,Some please help

I have everything but still nothing
Tears I shed away,still keep coming

There is an everlasting pain
something tells me I'm alive,these pulses in my veins

I am alive but dead,I have lost all my hope
Pain is holding me together,tying me with its rope

Sukoon....

Khamisiyon ka yeh shor,Ab mujhse nahi saha jata
Is duniya ki bheer mein,Ab tanha nahi raha jata.

Jis or bhi main dekhun,Bus aaye tu hi Nazar
Kash kahin se tu aa jaye,Kat jaye yeh tanha safar.

Is roshni ke sahar mein,Mere hi asman pe kyun nahi hai tare
Meri zindagi ke gulistan ke,Kyun kho gaye wh nazare.

Banna chahta tha zindagi,par ban kar rah gaya ek lamha
Di hai jisne logon ko khusi,Aaj khud hi rah gaya woh tanha.

Is dil mein kitna kuch hai batane ko,Par main kisse kahun
Koi to awaz de kahin se,Koi to de jaye is dil ko sukoon.

Khusiyon ka to sath nahi,Bus sath chand lamhe tanhai ke
Koi bhi to sath nahi,Bus main sath apni parchai ke.

Ehsaas

Jise bhi dil ka dard sunaya,Usine iska mazak banaya
Ye bebasi kyun humko mili,Humne aisa kya ghunah kiya

Ehsaas hi nahi ke kab se yeh aankhein nam hai
Maut ka hume koi dar nahi,Yeh zinda hone ka gam hai

Koi nahi jo sath hai,Koi nahi jo pas hai
Bus is dard ne sath nibhaya,Bus iska hi ehsaas hai

Andar se tut chuka hun main,Ek lash ki tarah zinda hun main
Maut se milna hai mujhe,Pata nahi kis aas mein zinda hun main

Doosron ki khusi mein,Koshis karta hun khush hone ki
Janta hun aansu bhi sukh chuke hain,fir phi koshis karta hun rone ki

Bikhar chuka hun main,Apne hi tukde samet raha hun
Kisika bhi ab sth nahi,Bus yeh sansein sath na chore isiliye ji raha hun

Tera khumar,Tera nasha jo aj mera yeh haal hai
Jitna bhi sulajhaun,Utni hi ulajhti tu ek sawal hai

Khatm karna chahta hun jo bhi ehsaas he is sine mein
Taki takleef na ho is tarah tanhah jeene mein

I Believe...

Tera Pyar

Khwabon mein tujhe le ayenge,is duniya se churake
Kash to sath hoti,har manzil ko main dhund leta teri ankhon mein khoke.

Tu roshan kar sakti hai jindagi meri, baas ek baar muskura de
Wajah de sakti hai jine ki mujhe, baas mujhiko mujhi se chura le

Kasoor mere akele ka to nahi,Teri ankhon ki kashish ka bhi dosh hai
Tune ye kya haal kiya,humhe kisi bhi baat ka kahan hosh hai.

Dard

Ye kaisi paheli hai,kyun ise suljha nahi pa raha hun main
Dil ko tu jitna bhi cheer le,par dekh ei dard fir bhi muskura raha hun main.

Nehi pata rasta kahan hai,kya pata manzil kahan hai
Ye mera pagalpan hai ya tere die gam ka nasha hai.

Maut ka dar to nahi tha yar,par ab ye zindagi hi jakar rahi hai
Sayad teri bhi koi majburi hogi,sayad tub hi tarap rahi hai hai.

Teri yaad mujhe abhi bhi rulati hai,tarpati hai
Teri ankhon ka nasha,hasi ki kashish,kyun mujhe paas bulati hai.

Janta hun kasoor yeh tera nehi, par dosh bhi main aab kise dun
Tere liye jo sambhale rakhi thi,ab ye zindagi main kise dun.

Aanson bhi sukh gae,rona bhi nahi aata
Dard itna zyada hai ki,dard ka ehsaas hi nahi hota.

Yaad hai barsat ki woh sham,Adhe tum bheeg rahe the aur adhe hum
Sawan ab bhi barasti hai mere chat pe, par ab kitne duur hain hum.

Jab bhi chaha dam torna,tere chehre ne mujhe roka
Na maut ne sath diya,na zindagi ko main de paya dhoka.

Yadoon ke un bhikre pannon ko,ura lata hai ye pawan ka jhoka
Ehsaas hai tere sath ka,tu sach main thi ya tha koi dhoka

Woh beete din bhul na payenge,kitne kareeb the hum
Par ab kitne duur ho tum,aur kitne majboor hain hum.

Yaad!!

Yeh akelapan,yeh tanhai,kyun mujhe nahi chorti
Tune to sath chor diya,yeh dard hi to hai jo apna wada nahi torti.

Yeh bheegi aankhein,inme mein kabhi sapne the
Who tut gaye,unka sath chut gaya jo kabhi apne the.

Yeh tanhai,uff yeh tanhai,kyun dil ko cheer jaati hai
Par tu jab nahi hai hoti hai,yehi to hai jo sath nibhati hai.

Dil mein ab tu nahi,bus ek sannatapan hai
Yeh kaisi kashish,yeh kaisa paagalpan hai.

Dil jitna bhi pukare tumhe,janta hun tum wapas nahi aogi.
Mujhe awaz na dena,main murunga nahi,warna tum mujhe bhul na paogi.

Subah se sham,sham se fir subah ho jayegi
Tu yaad to ayegi,pur un yadon ke sahare,ye zindagi bhi kat jayegi.

Love!

It is….(a pause)..??..This is the way I reacted when my friend, my roomie TD asked me a question during one of our discussion sessions(??) at night(We once even had a discussion session which was so long that we slept @ 4 in the morning and had to get up @ 5 to get ready for the training session),a very simple question to ask but very difficult to answer “What is love” and added to this he asked one more ”How do u know you are in love, when do u know its love?”..I still think about his stupid questions...How does anyone explain what’s love? When do you know you r in love? I wish answers to these questions were found in google.com…I don’t know what exactly love is..I just know it’s wonderful, fantastic, special...How do I know?...I just know and u just know when u r in...Why do I miss her? Why do I think I should have been with her, close to her? Why does it feel so good just to hear her voice? Why I just wait (rather wait desperately) to get a chance to see her? Why? I don’t know….
Why is everything about her so beautiful? Why is everything about her so special? Why do I feel peaceful, so wonderful when I’m near her? Why the answer to my every prayer is she? Why? I don’t know…
I believe love is a gift, the second most wonderful gift god has gifted to me (First being my parents)...Its so wonderful loving someone, thinking about her, caring about her...It really is..”why should I?”,” Why do I?”…..Love is the reason, the answer to all such questions.
It feels so special when someone remembers every little thing u said, when someone cares about u so much, when someone reminds u of every important thing in ur life , however small it may be(taking medicine at right time being one of them!)...U know it’s special...U just know it...

Those who love you will hurt u more but when you are sad, when you cry, they will always be there, standing next to you, to stop every single drop of tear falling from your eyes, they will do anything for that..

Appreciate it , respect it..............

Yeh Tanhai aur Tum

Yeh raat jab hoti hai,jab andhera chata hai

Yeh soonapan tumhari yaad le ati hai.

Tumhare sath bitaye wo do haseen pal,who meethi baatein

Saath le aati hai,yeh tanha raatein.

Mat mila karo mujhse,akhir tumhe bhul jana hai

Bus apni yaadein de do,akhir inhike sahare hi to jeena hai.

pyar karne ki tumhe saza bahut humko mili

Par jindagi jine ki koi to wajah mili.

Tu mili nahi mujhe to kaise ji payunga?

Pata nahi gum yeh judai ka kaise sah payunga

Yeh tanhai aur tum sath kyun baste ho

Mere dil ke karib ho kar bhi, kyun itne duur rahte ho?

Noise of Silence

You think silence is really silent? When I’m all alone in my room, I generally prefer lying on the bed with the lights switched off, the windows open, with the fresh air coming in…feels wonderful na?such soothing, peaceful moment,right?but…have u ever been able to lay just like that keeping your mind switched off..lights will bring darkness, darkness in the room, in ur mind...my mind starts thinking, about things I felt bad about, things that hurt me..I try to stop it but I can’t...I feel so helpless…I feel like running away but from whom and to where? I feel like talking to someone but with whom, who will understand, share, make me feel better...There is noone, noone left for me...Its really strange, I tried to have a silent peaceful moment but I’m helpless,restless..This screaming voice in my head is making me deaf, this bright light of darkness in my life is making me blind,paralysed…So u still think that the noise on the roads, of the loud rock music played at your neighbors flat is more painful that the noise of silence, the noise of loneliness…Think again!!

Country Roads..Take Me Home..

I was very tired…so had a nice tight sleep..suddenly a streak of bright light hit me straight on my face..something’s strange..where is my bed, my PC, Swamiji’s photo on the wall, just next to the cuckoo wall clock didi gifted to me..its not my room..i’m not at my home..Ah! So far away…I miss my home, home sweet home..

Why is life like this...sometimes I really feel that you don’t want what you get and you don’t get what u want...nostalgic hun?Yes I am but cant help it..

Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains
Shenandoah river -
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin’ like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memories gathered ¡®round her
Miner’s lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mornin’ hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin’ down the road I get a feelin’
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, now country roads
Take me home, now country roads

Wish u were here !!

PINK FLOYD lyrics