Where did I messed up the things?Did I misstep so that my life's like this now?Why is loneliness and tears only stay with me every night?Why can't I beat this sadness?Does anyone care to think why it's like this?I have things money can buy,at least lots of them which I always wanted to have,but does that make me happy?Does that make me complete?Is this the life I wanted?There were days in my life when people used to feel sad if I wasn't around.I used be the source of laughter for my friends.There were days when we used to take our bicycles and roam around the city,not knowing where exactly to go,not knowing what to do.But they are lost somewhere in time.But I can't escape my fate,I can't go as time won't let me go.I wish I could sit somewhere with my legs crossed,imprison myself in a dark room,seizing my thoughts,stopping myself from thinking what went wrong,who did it,but life won't set me free.I think sleep is my only savior.I feel disgusted about my life,but I have to sleep to see a new tomorrow through this hazel eyes,hoping the sun will shine tomorrow and brighten my life.
1 comment:
What do we expect from life? Are we trying to do too many things at once? Or are we still searching for the right reason to pursue..
Doesn't this creepy feeling come in, that no matter what we have planned for our lives for childhood, whatever dreams that we have seen, something somewhere has TERRIBLY gone wrong.
Probably the reason is that while all that planning we never thought of responsibility for our actions. We can become whatever we want in our lives- we can earn money as much as we would like to, can have a long lasting relationship, can travel to new places.. but everything comes with a price tag..
A downright careerist person will probably have an unsatisfactory family life, a person with a very happy family probably have to maintain a low profile and take minimal risks, while a vagabond cannot afford to have entanglements like a family or a property..
So it still depends on us that what we really want out of our life. The bigger question is that whether we are ready to pay the price!
The main problem is that when we start planning or expecting things from life, we do not much bother with the complicated realities in terms of the obligations we might be facing. In that context, even say studying for just two years can become a very big problem for a person like me, someone who has always dreamed about higher studies. Sometimes I feel I might have missed the bus already.
But the real question is that shall we allow our life to be driven by depression out of the realization of the overwhelming reality regarding the simplicity of the laws of nature and the society: We have to be responsible for our actions.
Thats why sometimes we think of starting over- to break free from all the legacy and bondage. Every new moment is an opportunity to get it right. Because it is never late to do the right thing!!
We have to decide, where we can take our lives. The hell and heaven are all here, my friend.
Hope you find the land of the rising sun soon :)
God bless..
~SilentSelf~
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